No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
