we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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