It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
