I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
