sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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