Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
