ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
