did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
