just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
