Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
