i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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