would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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