I'm eating all of the evidence.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize