Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
BRING THE BAGELS
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
