The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize