I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
