are you still at the devil's house?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
