u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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