You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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