what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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