Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
