That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
