I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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