and next time when you feel me up, do it right
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
