I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have already put on my inside pants.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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