We're facebook friends in real life
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
