You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
