apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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