Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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