is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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