Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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