I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize