I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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