I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think I won the penis lottery.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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