All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
