420 ftw
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
