alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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