Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
