new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You dont lie about slip and slides
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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