I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
