my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
