It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
