She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
