Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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