girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
