some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
