can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
