my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
