I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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