I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
