Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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