And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
