I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
