That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize