I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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