i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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