i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
