ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
