Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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