you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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