I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize