The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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