Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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