In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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