I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
